With Skinny Jeans Falling Out Of Fashion, Millennials Turn to Home Organizing to Rebuild Self Esteem

San Diego, CA: When hordes of Gen-Z tweens went after her coveted skinny jeans on TikTok, deeming them “lame” and “unfashionable”, 35 year old Marissa Jenkins found herself disoriented, unable to feel her self worth in a world where her pants did not adhere to her body like a second skin.

“If my legs aren’t stuffed into pants that mold them into the shape of two sexy sausages, I don’t know how I can possibly feel good about myself,” cried out Jenkins, “Don’t those cruel teenagers know I don’t have a waist anymore?!”

After aggressively logging out of TikTok, Jenkins violently ripped through her closet, trying to locate every pair of faux-paus skinny jeans in her possession to set aflame. As a result, she burned down her drapes and created a mind-blowing mess in her bedroom.

"I was staring at this insane pile of clothes and my empty closet, the clothes, my closet and I suddenly had a realization. . it was all completely wrong. It was a divine revelation,” Jenkins explained, her eyes glazed over.

She immediately logged onto her desktop Mac and started researching home organization, ordering sock and underwear dividers, hanging shelf organizers, vacuum sealed storage bags, foldable cube bins, a rustic hanging jewelry organizer, collapsible cascading hangers, closet shelf dividers, and over the toilet storage shelves.

Three days later, Jenkins was reborn, her spirit soaring as she walked in soiled sweatpants from room to flawlessly organized room, admiring her craft.

“I’m a new woman. I feel confident, liberated, and beautiful,” she exclaimed while moving a houseplant to the left 1.5 inches, “As long I don’t leave my house.”