South Asian Parents Pressure Kids to Become Sitcom Actors, Stand-Up Comics; Demand Highest Marks in Self Deprecation
Comedian Aziz Ansari is the cause of unprecedented low self esteem in unfunny South Asian youth across the US.
Artesia, CA: From Mindy Kaling to Aziz Ansari to Kunal Nayya to Hasan Minhaj to Kumail Nanjian, quirky lovable South Asians are a dime a dozen on mainstream media - and wiley South Asian parents aim to cash in on this new cash (holy) cow. These relentless immigrants have begun to push their youth to pursue lucrative careers in the entertainment industry, resorting to abuse when demands for punchline perfection are not heeded.
"My Raja is just as funny as that Aziz Ansari character on the television," cried J.L. Pondibhatt, an immigrant parent from India, "ÏWhy just yesterday he stood next to me on my right side, but reached behind me to tap my left shoulder, causing me to turn to the left to see who was there, but then I found no one there! What a joke, yar, fantastic! That is why I am making him taking 15 acting classes a week."
Another parent shamelessly shared her aggressive teaching model. "I make Shruti write 100 jokes a day on various topics such as marijuana, white people, her weight issues, and awkward sexual relations and if 90% of the jokes do not make me laugh, I break a string on her violin, rip a page from her Physics textbook, and force her stay home from school the next day," the smug mother shared, "I want only A marks in funny."
New joke writing tutoring sessions geared towards South Asians have been popping up across the country, with titles such as "Joke Your Way To A Hefty 401k" and "Laughter Is the Best Savings Account." Enrollment has shot up exponentially after Aziz Ansari entered the second season of his Emmy award winning show, Master of None.
One gushing parent was visibly excited after dropping her 8th grade daughter off at a tutoring session in Artesia. "We are so fortunate Lalitha has buckteeth, a unibrow, is bowlegged, always smells like masala, and is overweight," exclaimed the child's mother, "These inconveniences will make her hilarious in the future - a small investment now for very large returns when she is in her late 20s, early 30s."
