New Study Shows Adults Contemplate Death And Lunch With Same Intensity

New York, NY: A new study reveals that middle aged American adults spend as much time contemplating the dark abyss of death as they do what they will eat for lunch. The report, titled "Cream of Mushroom Soup or Cremation?" was released by the Middle Aged Institute at New York University's Continuing Education Online Program. 

"What was most fascinating about the results," commented Dr. Bhaskar K. Veerypan, head of the research team, "Was that the same levels of anxiety & depression were found when participants pondered death as when they were deciding between lunch choices, with the decision between a Chipotle salad bowl or burrito bowl causing the highest levels of distress."