Bankers Take Counter-Action; Occupy TJ Maxx
Standing next to signs that read “My skill set is scarcer than yours!”, and “Don’t blame me if the market hates you!,” bankers have taken action to counter the growing anti-corporate movement spreading across the nation. In cities throughout the country, investment bankers are conducting sit-ins at TJ Maxx discount clothing stores, the bastion of affordable shopping, hoping to send a clear message to low and middle income Americans.
“These radical working class Maxxinistas always in search of a great bargain - which is essentially a socialized hand out - need to work harder, acquire scarcer skills that are valued more, and then pay regular prices like the rest of us capitalists who actually contribute to the economy!” exclaimed Mark Blankenstein, derivatives trader at Citibank.
Just yesterday, a group of bankers at a TJ Maxx in Long Island escalated their tactics by making their personal assistants form a human chain around the clearance rack near the back of the store. A near riot was avoided when two of the assistants broke the chain to peruse some pastel colored cargo shorts.
"I mean, I could see myself wearing lemon yellow shorts, maybe to the grocery store or something," explained Shana, assistant to a Bank of America executive, "Especially if they are only $3."
