2nd Amendment Advocates Want Arms to Prevent Gov’t Takeover; Plan to Violently Fling Guns at Fighter Jets, Shoot Tiny Dents into Army Tanks


2nd Amendment advocate throws AK-47 at fighter jet in hopes of destroying tyrannical gov't


HOT DEALS! Walmart to give away colonial-style wig free with purchase of arms

Baton-Rouge, Louisiana: In response to recent attacks on assault weapons and gun own­er­ship by offi­cials across the coun­try, gun advo­cates have gone on the defense, loudly yelling at talk show hosts from CNN to FOX about the impor­tance of the 2nd amendment.

The 2nd Amend­ment isn’t there for duck hunt­ing, it’s there to pro­tect us from tyran­ni­cal gov­ern­ment. 1776 will com­mence again if you try to take our firearms…and believe me, I can’t wait to put on a pow­dered wig,” a bald Alex Jones, gun sup­porter, pas­sion­ately screamed at Piers Mor­gan on CNN

Don't be charmed by the mustache - Jeff Foxworthy is the incendiary voice of a brewing insurrection

Don’t be charmed by the mus­tache — Jeff Fox­wor­thy is the incen­di­ary voice of a brew­ing insurrection

The Fed­eral Gov­ern­ment has long been ter­ri­fied of an armed revolt by chubby rural white Amer­i­can men, mak­ing numer­ous failed attempts to ban assault guns, Jeff Fox­wor­thy com­edy spe­cials, and incred­i­bly large tires on trucks as a means of curb­ing this sin­is­ter threat.

To be hon­est, we are deeply con­cerned,” said Gen­eral Tator Schwartzkof­fer, “You’d be sur­prised how vul­ner­a­ble a 2.4 ton Army tank is to an AK-47. It can really do some dam­age to the paint job, which makes the Sec­re­tary of Defense incred­i­bly anxious.”

The White House fears insurgents' Monster Trucks will destroy White House gardens

The White House fears insur­gents’ Mon­ster Trucks will destroy White House gardens