Monthly Archives: August 2011

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In violation of federal law, this bus has unknowingly has left multiple children behind at Colonial Williamsburg.

Congress Approves “No Child Left Behind Field Trip Amendment”

Wash­ing­ton DC: After months of cam­paign­ing by the Obama Admin­is­tra­tion, today Con­gress passed an amend­ment to Bush-era “No Child Left Behind” pub­lic edu­ca­tion leg­is­la­tion known as the “No Child Left Behind Field Trip Amend­ment”. The ini­tia­tive ensures that when stu­dents … Con­tinue read­ing →

 
Carroms has been found to expose emerging markets to excessive amounts of risk.

Finance Official Suffers Carrom Board Bludgeoning, Severe Baby Powder Inhalation

Stand­ing at a podium with his thumbs and index fin­gers wrapped heav­ily in ban­dages and oxy­gen tubes stuffed past illus­tri­ous bushes of nasal hair Con­tinue read­ing →

 
“Don’t be a Hot Mess! Keep Your Longyi Tucked Right and Tight!”

Daughter of Burmese Dictator Made Into Government-Sponsored Pop Starlet

“My lone­li­ness is killing me.
I must con­fess, I still believe
in Gen­eral Thwe’s ide­ol­ogy!
When I’m not in Burma, I lose my mind.
Give me a sii­i­iggggnnnn!
Hit me baby, one more time
If I do not heed the laws of the state.” Con­tinue read­ing →

 

The ACTUAL news: Bull to lure fugitive German cow ‘Yvonne’

*ATTENTION — This is an ACTUAL BBC news arti­cle! You can’t make this shit up!* Yvonne has been roam­ing free in the Bavar­ian for­est since escap­ing from a farm near the town of Muhldorf in May. How­ever, after she bolted in front … Con­tinue read­ing →

 

Grammar Check.

 
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